Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
