DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
and you fell through a lawn chair
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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