Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I party with great urgency now.
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