He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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