hotel room ftw
I heard we made out
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
wow bdsm is so cute
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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