My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
