Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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