Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
