Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
