Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
