and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
