You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
