I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
