I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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