I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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