so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I touched a dick in church today
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize