How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
