Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
