it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
