He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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