but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
