Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
