very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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