based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
