Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
