Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
