high people should be assigned attendants
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize