you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize