ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
