I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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