The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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