is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
