The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dignity is for republicans.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
