I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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