I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
