not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
