the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My bed smells like the plague
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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