2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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