You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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