Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
