Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
