break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
