so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
