I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
