there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
