Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
