i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
