I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
smell my finger.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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