the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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