Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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