I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
