This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
