I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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