i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
