i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
