we're blogging at a bar
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
