As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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