So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
