Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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