Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My vagina is officially offended.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
