The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
