theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
