i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
