He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
