Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
