She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
